45 mins and a crap day

Today has been one of THE worst days ever.  It all started when I woke up and looked around the house as I stumbled and tripped my way  to make some coffee.  The house was a sty and Mike hadn't done anything the night before.  I was just so ticked.  I was also really jealous that he gets to play his game while I had to fight with Zoe so I could eat last night.

Then Mike had to complain about the laundry and how it hasn't been done yet and he doesn't have any shirts to wear.  The poor guy because I laid into him and then he went to work and I sent him a nasty email.  He really didn't deserve any of it.  I was trying to be in control of my emotions but I just can't handle fighting and with being sleep deprived, I just fell into a black pit of despair and I brought up every imaginable thing he had ever done wrong.  Then the more I thought the more depressed I got.  He was trying to be nice but I did hurt him and that realization made me even more upset.  So I cancelled our plans to go and see a little Thomas the Tank play and decided to clean the house.

I got the house done, well about 75% and my mood has slowly gotten better.  I still feel really badly about being so awful.  I decided that I should go to bed early like 8 or 9pm.

The high point of my day so far is that I got my walk done.  I am proud because I really wanted to curl into bed and wallow in my misery.  I have brownies tonight so I knew I would be out and it is hard to do the walk after the meeting.  Plus I should talk to Mike and spend some time with him after this morning.  So I put Ally down and strapped Zoe on.  And afterwards, I even had some time for tea and chocolate to help my mood.