Wednesday, April 29, 2009

45 Min Easy

I really wanted to do my walk outside yesterday but alas it was snowing again!  Darn weather.  I got on my trusty treadmill and walked while watching TLC.  One thing that struck me was how easy 45 minutes seems now.  I remember when it was so hard to finish and it seemed like such a long time.  Now it goes so quickly.

Counting my calories is going well and eating veggies too.  I am settling into this dieting again too.  I did freak out a bit in regards to my supply.  I just made some alfalfa tea to boost my supply and tried to calm down.  I realized that one day of crankiness doesn't neccesarily mean that my supply has dropped.  It did make me realize that even with my brave talk and everything going so well with Zoe that I am still petrified of not having enough milk.

It is such a fine line between being taking care of me and taking care of my girls.  Both are important and depending on the day one can be more important than the other.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

back to counting points

I have been counting my calories for 3 days now and it has gone well.  I am feeling really good  and determined to get this weight off.  I am enjoying the work.  I worry that I won't lose anything when I weigh myself on Friday but I guess that is a chance I have to take.  I am really focusing on eating well and that will help my overall health even if for some weird reason (breastfeeding) it still doesn't come off.

So I promised a challenge for this week.  The challenge is to eat a fruit or vegetable at every meal. I started this morning by eating half a banana, which is awesome because I *hate* bananas! 

6 Miles

Today was a very busy day with a play date, a birthday party and a house to clean.  It was a challenge to get the walk and I was worried that if I didn't squeeze it in somehow that I would post pone it like last week.  So I walked just over 6 miles to where the playdate was.  I carried Zoe and Mike and Ally drove there.  I left about an hour and half before.

It is really weird walking to a place that you normally drive too.  It felt like a really long walk and the first 2 miles were really hard because I had bad shin splints again but I did it!  I was a bit slower than I wanted to be but I powered through the shin splints and I think the lights added some time too.  All in all, I am proud that I did it.  

Now there are 4 weeks left!  Eeek!  Crazy how fast this training has gone.  And I think I can now say that I am really enjoying the exercise, which is big for me because I have never like exercise.  I still dread getting out and it I have to really push myself to put my shoes on but I know I will have a great time once I get going.  I love the chance to think and enjoy my music without someone demanding attention.  Even though I am still carrying a kid it is the closest I come to me time and I love it.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Sick and Tired

I am sick and tired of squeezing into my fat jeans.  I am exercising a ton and not losing weight!  It ticks me off because I wanted to be one of those people who just started exercising and the weight fell off.  Well, unfortunately that isn't me either.  I guess I should realize that weight doesn't fall off unless I work really hard.  Up until now I have been exercising and eating what I want.  That has been fun and I have enjoyed it all.  But it is time for a change and to get serious.

Of course my supply is still a big concern but I think it will be okay.  I worry of course but I am only going to cut down and eat healthier and that can't hurt.  It does stress me out a ton but.....I need to be healthy and I guess at this point I need to try it first and deal when it happens.

My plan is to follow Weight Watchers and count my points and I am going to really focus on the vegetables.  I have done Weight Watchers before while I was preparing for my wedding and I lost over 40lbs.  I want that to happen again!  So here it goes.  I can't go to meetings and I am sorry but I don't have the money to do it online.  I think it is a great program and I love that it has a program for nursing mothers.  If you have the money it is completely worth every penny.

I am going to set challenges for myself and feel free to follow along and join me.  I would love if you readers would join me and we can motivate each other.  So stayed tuned I will annouce our challenge on Monday.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Earlier this week I was talking to my sister in law who has just gone back to work part time, which she is ecstatic about.  She was telling me about a this article she read about every person needing 4-6 hrs of 'flow ' a day.  'Flow' being whatever a person does that they get completely engrossed in and can lose track of time.  She said that most moms don't get enough 'flow' and that is so true.  When she said that I had to really think about when was the last time I had 'flow' and what gave me that.  I think it is important for a mom's mental health to find what gives her that and to try and do it once a day but being a mom even once a week would be nice.

My walks are starting to be that where it doesn't feel like a chore but I really enjoy and time just flies.  But I want to find other stuff that gives me that 'flow', I want to get back into knitting and maybe learn to sew.  Maybe when Zoe starts sleeping at a consistent time.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Super Mom!

On top  of doing my 8 miles I was also productive around the house.  I took both girls grocery shopping this morning for the first time!  I never liked taking just Ally to the store because she is such a handful and I have been petrified of taking both girls by  myself.  I discovered that Safeway has carts that have a car in front that you can belt a toddler into.  Ally loves it so I can wheel around the store and not have to worry about her too  much.  I had Zoe in a sling and I pushed the car and did the shopping, it was great.  Also thankfully Safeway has carry out too.  

When we got home I put Zoe down for her nap and Ally played on her slide while I brought the groceries in.  Then she painted while I threw together a casserole from a bunch of leftovers and then we had lunch.  

Then both girls napped.  I am getting better at getting both of them down around the same time so that I a bit of a break, which is so wonderful.  It has only been a week of them going down at the same time but I am loving it.

While the girls napped I cleaned the kitchen and started washing the floor when Ally woke up to help.  It is so tough getting a floor washed with a toddler.  She is much better now, I have tile floor and she would walk on the wet area then fall and get hurt.  Now she stays out of the way but she is fascinated with the bucket.

After a that we made some muffins and then  put supper in over and got ready for  my walk.  I am just so impressed with myself!  It is not every day or week that I am this productive.  I love the feeling after such a great day.  It is so rewarding.

Finally 8 miles!!

I did it!  I have now officially walked the farthest I have ever done in my life!  And what a feat.  Today I knew I had to get the walk in or I wouldn't do it.  I also had to plan really well.  I decided to have some time with the hubby I had to take the girls with me for the walk.  I knew that Ally for sure would not be able to sit in the stroller the entire time.  I packed the girls up in our new fabulous chariot and filled it with special snacks, drinks and toys.  I left the house around 4 pm and hoping to be about half way when Mike would be home from work so he could take the girls.

The walk went amazingly.  Ally did really well despite some poking at Zoe, she sang and played and talked to me.  Zoe did okay.  She would cry here and there and then at the turn around point she wouldn't stop and by the time Mike came about 15 minutes later she was DONE and everyone in a miles radius knew that she was not a happy baby.  Mike came and started unbuckling the girls and putting them into their carseats while I emptied and packed up the stroller.

Then I put my mp3 player on and went.  I did 8 miles in 2hrs and 20 minutes.  I kind of think that I could knock off like 10 minutes for stopping at lights, getting snacks and when Mike picked the girls up.  I am so impressed with the time. It is close to 4 miles an hour which is the speed I want for the marathon and better than  my last walk of 7 miles in 2 hrs 5 min.   Yeah!

I am also not hurting to bad.  I did dip into the tub with some wine for about 5 minutes before Zoe woke and wouldn't soothe for Mike.  Those 5 minutes were heaven though.  My heels hurt and I think after the next long walk I will treat myself to a pedicure.

Monday, April 20, 2009


I was all set to do my 8 mile walk yesterday afternoon, I had Zoe all wrapped up, my cell phone, mp3 player and water.  Zoe was cranking but I started my walk anyways thinking she would fall asleep like she usually does.  She didn't, she got madder and madder, so I turned around and went home.  

I am not ready to leave Mike along with the kids just yet.  I don't know why, he is a great dad.  But Zoe is still young and only wants me and usually screams for Mike and I know how hard it is to have one kid screaming and trying to deal with the other.

So since I didn't do the 8 mile walk, I am juggling my week around.  I  did Tuesdays 45 minute walk on Sunday and I did the 30 min stroll today.  I will be doing my 8 miles on Tuesday.  I will.  I must!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


I think we can officially say it is spring!!  Today was gorgeous.  So I decided that the whole family were going to go for my 50 minute stroll today.  We bundled up because it was windy out and headed to North Glenmore Park.  It was great.  Weirdly enough I had no pain at all and really enjoyed the walk.  I had a great time and I am looking forward to the 8 mile walk tomorrow.

I met up with a friend who has a 21 month old today and she was complaining too about how she hasn’t lost weight at all even with tons of exercise.  She thinks my theory of not being able to lose weight while breastfeeding might be true.  I love that I have a theory and people who are struggling with the weight too but I would really like to be wrong.  I don’t want to be this weight and I don’t want to be pregnant again at this weight.

I am thinking that after this marathon I am going to cut calories and really start to try and lose the weight.

I think I can, I think I can

Tonight I was the little engine that could.  I had to really work to get my walk done.  My legs and ankles were hurting again.  It took every ounce in me to keep going and to not quit.  I kept chanting, “I can do this” over and over.  What kept me going was knowing that the marathon will be hard and it is going to hurt too.  In a way I need to practice pushing through the pain.

I am a little annoyed that my motivation is waning.  Tonight I almost convinced myself to lie to Mike and tell him that I did the walk earlier in the day.  But who is that cheating him or me?  Me, of course.  I should be getting more excited as the day becomes closer but I think I am getting scared.

I am scared that I will not be able to finish.  I am scared that I will really hurt myself.  I am scared that I will be the last one to cross the finish line.

I know completly irrational especially being scared of being the last one because that still means I did it.  I guess I want to do better than Mike did.  I am competitive at the weirdest things.  I feel like I have been training better and more consistently than he ever did so that means I should do better.  But that is necesarily the case, is it?  We are too different people.

I need to work on the motivation….

Evening Stroll

I love the strolls and I do my best to get the whole family out.  Mike and I have been talking about taking a learn to run class after my marathon so I am trying to get him out with me  now.  I also think that the fresh air is good for the girls and being active as a family goes towards my goal.  Ally loved the walk until we walked by the park but it is still too chilly out.  I really can’t wait for summer….just wait and it will be +35 C all summer and I will be complaining.

40 Minutes Too Long

Today I was having a difficult time with my shin splints and ankles hurting.  I *really* wanted to stop but I trudged on.  I realized that it is much easier walking outside because you have to go back instead of just stopping on the treadmill.  I didn’t enjoy my walk like I usually do.  I just pushed myself to finish.  I even had to slow down and not do any incline because I hurt to much.  I need to stretch better I think….I am not sure what to do exactly but I am going to research and find out.

Week 10 Training Plan

Monday - Rest

Tuesday-  40 min easy

Wednesday- 25 min stroll

Thursday- 40 min easy

Friday- Rest

Saturday-  50 min stroll

Sunday- 8 miles

Tough Week

Zoe, my youngest has been sick since last Tuesday.  She has had an awful flu bug and I had to go to my parents for help.  But amazingly I got all my walks in!  I also did the long walk of 7 miles!  That is the longest I have walked ever.  I chose my walk around two hills to get prepared for any hills during the marathon.  My mom has done two marathons and she told me that the hardest thing was the hills because she wasn’t prepared for them.  I have been preparing on my treadmill and looking for some hills during my walks.

The walk was great, about 5 minutes away from my turnaround point I was getting a bit worried.  I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to do it and would have to call my husband to come get me.  But when I saw my mark, which was two hay bales, I got a bounce in my step and was able to shave  off 5 minutes on the second half.  The walk was supposed to be an easy 7  miles, so I didn’t worry about speed even though I wanted to do it in around 2 hours.  I typically can go faster but the point was to do it and not break any records, that is what the next marathon is for.  

My husband was so cute, he drove out to find me and brought me some water.  He came just as I was starting the last mile.  That helped give me energy to keep going.  I need to stretch better because my shin splints were hurting.  I have been told that to get rid of them the best way is to walk on your heels for 30 seconds a day for about a week.  So I am going to try that.

My treat for the week was to get new shoes!  I went to The Running Room yesterday and got fitted for some sleek looking addidas!  I can’t wait to break them in.

Societal Rant

I realized today as I was complimenting my friend on her ‘tiny’ 37 week belly pic, how messed up we are concerning weight and size.  Being ‘tiny’ is a desire during pregnancy even though we want a healthy baby and enjoy getting round.  But if you ever compliment some one by telling them how big they are you are sure to offend.  I relished in my size but I still didn’t want to be compared to a house or my friend who was having twins.  I learned that the ultimate compliment is,”Wow, you are so tiny!”  But when you think of growing a healthy child with your body, don’t you think being bigger would be better?

Of course, as I know all to well there is such a thing as too much but ironically for me, my second pregnancy where I gained the textbook amount I actually had a bigger baby.  But I did eat healthier.

So there you go, it all comes down to health.  I am glad that I had midwives because that is what they focused on instead of how much it was what I was eating.  That is important and I appreciated that.

I think my compliment from now on is going to be, “Wow, you look so great and healthy.”  Hopefully I won’t offend…

Week 9 Training Plan

Monday - Rest

Tuesday-  40 min easy

Wednesday- 25 min stroll

Thursday- 40 min easy

Friday- Rest

Saturday-  50 min stroll

Sunday- 7 miles

4 Mile Brisk Walk

My sister is also training with me and we tried to do our long walks together.  This week we were to do a 4 mile brisk walk,  my goal is to do 4 miles an hour.  This a good speed and if I can be consistent puts me at finishing the marathon just after 3 hrs.  We decided to do the long walk on Saturday this week because we had plans to have dinner together.  We decided to do the walk in my neighborhood.  So we took the GPS and set off down the road.  It was fairly warm out with a bit of a wind.  I have been reluctant to do any walks in my neighborhood because of the lights and a lot of people don’t shovel their walks and it is icy.  We also wanted to talk so we possibly could have gone faster but what is the point of exercise if you can’t enjoy it?  There were some treacherous sections and two set of lights we had to deal with but all in all it worked out perfectly and even with slowing down for the lights and ice we did the 4 miles in one hour!  I think that is pretty impressive!

I am amazed that I can walk so much faster outside than I can on my treadmill.  On  my treadmill I can only go about 3 miles an hour and I find that hard.  Outside I find it easy to do 4 miles/hour.  Weird….I guess it is a good thing that the marathon is out side.

Today I will be doing a 30 min stroll. I would like to get Mike and the girls out but I don’t see that happening because we have been busy de-cluttering the office and unfortunately the house is a mess.


The biggest challenge has been finding the time to exercise.  As a mom of 2 young girls this was really hard.   I decided that I would wear my youngest in a carrier everytime I trained.  I didn’t want my husband to have to stop my work out because he had an inconsolable baby and thankfully Zoe has gotten so used to the training that everytime I stick her in the carrier she is asleep within moments.   I am not good at getting up early and exercising, so even though I am exhausted by the end of the day, I typically get on the treadmill about 8 pm.  My eldest is asleep and any cleaning up I choose to do is finished.

My husband has been very supportive and not to pushy either.  All I need is a gentle reminder and I am good to go.  I got an mp3 player and that has made the walks even more enjoyable!  My treadmill is in front of the tv and I hated watching the commercials they would make my walk drag on and I would need something good on to watch which was hard at times.

I may not crave the exercise but I really enjoy the satisfaction of finishing a walk and marking a big x on my training plan.  I love the last 10 minutes of the walk because I know that I am going to finish it and I get a big surge of adrenaline and excitement.  I am actually beginning to enjoying walking.


I started training for the marathon in the beginning of February.  I am doing the Calgary Marathon on May 31st.  I found this training plan and I adapted it from 12 to 16 weeks by doubling the first and last two weeks.  I really liked this plan because I do better with a set time because I found the idea of doing 2 miles a night very daunting but doing 40 minutes is easy, even though it is the same.

I convinced my sister and friend to join me because I love company especially on the long walks.  I also set up weekly treats to motivate myself to keep going and complete a week.  I registered for the marathon after 4 weeks.  I waited to make sure I was really going to do it and I had heard after a month you start to crave exercise and have a new habit.

After completing 7 weeks, I am proud to say I have only missed 3 days of training!  That is a huge accomplisment.  I have never been motivated enough to exercise 5 days a week.  Now I don’t crave the exercise but I do look forward to it.

Weight loss and Breastfeeding

I am so jealous of those who can nurse their gorgeous newborns and have the weight just melt off.  I am not that  My theory is that my body holds on to those precious pounds 'just in case'.   Breastfeeding has been a struggle for me and having a good supply is important.  I constantly struggle with my desire to look good and cutting calories.  To me it is not worth sacrificing my supply.

I started out the year on Weight Watchers because it has a good plan for nursing mothers.  I counted my points religiously for about 6 weeks and lost a total of 0 lbs!  Yep, that is true; nothing, zip, zilch, nada.  I hate depriving myself with no success, even one measely pound would have motivated me to keep going.  That is how my theory began to develop.  

I knew that I needed to do something to get healthy because I don't want to be at this weight and I would like to have another baby.  I needed a plan to motivate me to be healthy but that the sole focus wasn't weight loss.  I decided that being fit and exercising regularly is more important in the long run than pounds lost.

I decided about 8 weeks ago that I was going to walk a half marathon.  This is a huge goal for me because I have never been one to exercise regularly.  I was active but not in a formal fitness way.   The more I thought about doing a marathon and all the training in entailed the more it seemed to be a perfect goal.  I really like how you can improve over time and you get to travel to different cities.  I also really liked how it gave me steps to work towards a goal where I could improve my fitness and show my girls that being fit is more important than dieting.

My girls are what really motivates me I really want to help shape their relationships with food and weight.   I want to try my best to help them with the inevitable self-esteem issues.  I want to give them tools to be proud of their bodies.  I want to protect them from the anguish that I have gone through.  I know I can't shield them but if I incorporate an active lifestyle into our lives now  maybe it will make it easier for them.

It doesn't fall off

Today as I was despairing about my weight, I thought about blogging about my struggle. It doesn’t fall off is talking about how some of us have to really struggle to take off our pregnancy weight and how for some breastfeeding is not a given for weight loss. My eldest daughter is now 2 years old and for her pregnancy, I enjoyed every latte and hot cross bun to the max and gained 70lbs. I didn’t worry I was going to breastfeed and of course have so much time to go to the gym, I *knew* that I would lose it no problem. Ha!! I was so naive. Time?! And time to yourself, to be exact what is that? I got pregnant when my eldest was 11 months old and with 40 lbs left to lose, I did well with my second pregnancy and gained the textbook 25 and now at 4 months I have lost 17. I have now realized that it is work and hard work at that. I am going to share my journey with any of you who maybe in the same boat.