Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Week 1, run 2

Today the challenge was getting out of the house early enough.  My friend and I were going to do our run during preschool.  We dropped the kids off and then ran.

It was much harder today but that is a good thing.  I like to feel it when I exercise...well just a bit.  We didn't warm up because we had already walked to school, so the run went really fast.  I was glad for the end to come but I am feeling good about the progression.

Tomorrow is my weigh in day, it would be nice if I lost this week.

Monday, April 25, 2011

I did it!!

I did it! I did it! I did!

Woohoo!  I am so happy!

I woke up this morning and told Mike that I was going to do my first run when he got home.  Unfortunately things conspired against us and he wasn't going to be home in time for me to follow through with that plan.  I was very reluctant to take all 3 kids with me and I didn't know how I would do it.

Ally has a run bike and she is doing very well on it but isn't good enough that I could concentrate on running.

Thankfully, I had a moment of brilliance and I remembered that one of the moms from preschool was talking about doing more exercise and she lives right by the high school.  I called her up and asked if she wanted to join me.  She was excited to join me.  She has a 4 and 2 year old too.  The running track at the high school is perfect because there is only one entrance and the kids were able to run after us or play in the middle.  The 2 year olds had some difficulties with their moms running away from them.  But all in all, it went really well.

My friend wants to be my jogging buddy too and since her son is in preschool we are going to try and run during preschool twice a week.

I am so proud of myself because sometimes starting is the hardest part, especially when you add in the challenge of 3 kids.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

A-Ha Moment

This past week Mike was away having the ultimate guys weekend - drinking, golf, hockey and baseball.  I am glad that he got a chance to go away on a trip.  I handle the home front and things went amazing!  I had a great time with the kids and work.  Don't tell Mike but it is weeks like this that I think a fourth just might be possible.  I am just so glad that things are finally getting easier with the kids.

So back to my a-ha moment.

Mike went to the strippers.  In the past this is an outing that doesn't bother me, I see it as a fun guys night.  But this time it really, really bugged me.  I spent the next day ranting and yelling at him in my head.  I then asked myself, why am I bothered now?  What is so different about this time?

And here it comes.  Me - I am what is different now.  I have written about my loss of self-esteem and my dislike of my post baby body.  But it really sunk in for me how low it had gotten.  I was so angry at Mike because I was afraid of what he was thinking while at the strippers and how it reflected on me.  I was afraid that I wasn't good enough for him.

This thought stream really shook me up because I was never like that.  I was confident in myself. 

I realized that things need to change big time.  I don't like to myself this way.

For the past couple of weeks I have been doing Weight Watchers but the last two weeks, I haven't really done it and I have barely counted.  I am going to re-committ and count everything.

I have been inspired by my bestie Laurie and sister-in-law Billie who have both started to run.  I have decided to do the 'Couch to 5k' running plan.

Wish me luck.  I know I have written similar posts in the past.  Keep me in your thoughts and help me find the 30 minutes to exercise 3 times a week.  This is going to be hard but I think since the weather is nicer, it will be a bit easier.  My plan is to walk Ally to school and then go on my run afterwards.

Monday, April 18, 2011

My theme song

On days that are full of tantrums, crying, fighting, laundry, not enough sleep....or just a no good very bad day.

I like to put this song on as loud as I can.

Ally once asked me why I like the music so loud and I told her because it feels like a hug.

Music is an important aspect of my life.  A song can make my day better, bring back memories and even answer a question that I am struggling with.  I can only listen to music on random, I really hate listening to an album in order.  I also have a hard time listening to music on low volume, I need to be surrounded by it.

Monday, April 11, 2011


Today I am tired and I am drowning in laundry and dishes.

I feel like I haven't slept in years...hmmm...that is almost accurate.

I want to crawl under a million blankets and hide.

Sleep and the lack of it has always effected me greatly.  My mood swings are extreme and my patience is next to none.  I become negative almost depressed and everywhere I turn I see my failures.

I am learning to cope when I have bad days but it is hard.  I do know that tomorrow or the next day I will be back to myself and everything will be rosy again.  But today I just want to cry and run away.

There is so much going on right now that I can't run away.  I can't even declare it a tv day and lay on the couch with the girls. 

Last week some major things happened.  I am not totally sure how I feel about the changes yet.  Our business is expanding and things are happening fast.  We took over a failing franchise area and scrambled to get a delivery person, papers delivered and in touch with all the advertisers.  The work was exhilerating and I enjoyed it.  But my house and children suffered.

The TV was on too much and I was on my computer too much.  I am struggling with finding a balance.  I will be putting Ally and Zoe in the dayhome 2 days a week and I am trying to not be on my computer the other days.  I am hiring someone to clean my house so that I can concentrate on  my kids.

I think things will go well.  But my girls are having a hard time leaving me and it breaks my heart to have to run out the door while the sitter or preschool teacher holds them from running after me.

This brings me back to today...where I am exhausted from spending the weekend away in a hotel room with 3 kids and from getting up every 2 hours.  I don't want to parent or clean today. 

But that isn't fair to my kids.  I will make it through the day, I just hope there is not too many tears or yelling.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Lockdown Mode

Last Monday I declared my family under 'lockdown'. 

"Huh?" you say. 

Well basically we have been too busy.  Poor Georgia had no sleep routine and both of us were suffering.

 I also find leaving the house with 3 kids to be stressful.  I am punctual and I live by my old band director's motto, "If your on time your late!"  and going anywhere with children who have no sense of time or hurry is a big to do.  Leaving the house had gotten to the point where the stress of leaving completely out weighed the fun out going out. 

I have been getting better at not getting so stressed and frustrated and having an attached garage is helpful but the weather has been no help either.

The past week has been glorious!  Georgia is back to having two naps a day and going to bed has been getting easier each night.  I am getting the house clean and having a great time with Ally and Zoe.

Unfortunately Georgia is only sleeping in 2-3 hour stretches at night but staying at home helps with my exhaustion levels.

Now if only I could remember how great it is to be less schedule...this week is turning into a bit of a roller coaster...ahhhh...such is life.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Early Morning Cuddles

I sometimes get cranky that I never get to sleep in but today was worth it. I got to cuddle with Zoe, which is rare because she never stops moving.

Due to our current sleep arrangement (Mike and Ally in the guest room) I get a whole king size bed to myself and Georgia.  This morning I wanted a couple extra minutes in my cozy bed so I set up Georgia's playmat and dozed listening to her play.

I think cuddling with Zoe made my day. 

Or at least it certainly made getting up early worth it.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Weight Watchers

Back in 2005, I lost a bunch of weight in anticipation of my wedding on weight watchers.  I did really well and I love the program.  I have started a couple times in the past few years but never got into because something would pop up with my milk supply or I couldn't go to meetings etc.

Well over a week ago I signed up for the online version and I am incredibly impressed!  The online system is great and it has a great app too.  It makes counting points so easy.  I did have a bit of a learning curve because WW has re-vamped its program since I was on it last.

But I am thrilled to say that I have lost!  Yes, 0.8 lbs - that may not seem like much but to me it is excellent and it is the perfect amount for me.

The great thing about WW is that it allows nursing moms on the program and actually has an extra set of points for them.  This makes me feel better about doing the diet and not worrying about my supply.