Sunday, April 24, 2011

A-Ha Moment

This past week Mike was away having the ultimate guys weekend - drinking, golf, hockey and baseball.  I am glad that he got a chance to go away on a trip.  I handle the home front and things went amazing!  I had a great time with the kids and work.  Don't tell Mike but it is weeks like this that I think a fourth just might be possible.  I am just so glad that things are finally getting easier with the kids.

So back to my a-ha moment.

Mike went to the strippers.  In the past this is an outing that doesn't bother me, I see it as a fun guys night.  But this time it really, really bugged me.  I spent the next day ranting and yelling at him in my head.  I then asked myself, why am I bothered now?  What is so different about this time?

And here it comes.  Me - I am what is different now.  I have written about my loss of self-esteem and my dislike of my post baby body.  But it really sunk in for me how low it had gotten.  I was so angry at Mike because I was afraid of what he was thinking while at the strippers and how it reflected on me.  I was afraid that I wasn't good enough for him.

This thought stream really shook me up because I was never like that.  I was confident in myself. 

I realized that things need to change big time.  I don't like to myself this way.

For the past couple of weeks I have been doing Weight Watchers but the last two weeks, I haven't really done it and I have barely counted.  I am going to re-committ and count everything.

I have been inspired by my bestie Laurie and sister-in-law Billie who have both started to run.  I have decided to do the 'Couch to 5k' running plan.

Wish me luck.  I know I have written similar posts in the past.  Keep me in your thoughts and help me find the 30 minutes to exercise 3 times a week.  This is going to be hard but I think since the weather is nicer, it will be a bit easier.  My plan is to walk Ally to school and then go on my run afterwards.


  1. what time does Mike leave in the morning? We walk/run the dogs every day by 6.. if you need a buddy... we could meet at the corner of 15th and 23rd.

  2. I am so proud of you for starting to run again :) I know what you mean about the low self esteem. I am just starting to get back to feeling good in my own body. Now I have to get Mike back to working out so he is more confident too. He tried day 1 of the couch to 5Km program a few min ago... he only made it to 16 min! I warned him to jog and not run full out... but he is a man and men never listen! hahahaha We are going jogging along the river together on Saturday as Ethan is going to his grandparents for the weekend. Wish us luck too! Good luck to you on your journey :) hugs!