This past week Mike was away having the ultimate guys weekend - drinking, golf, hockey and baseball. I am glad that he got a chance to go away on a trip. I handle the home front and things went amazing! I had a great time with the kids and work. Don't tell Mike but it is weeks like this that I think a fourth just might be possible. I am just so glad that things are finally getting easier with the kids.
So back to my a-ha moment.
Mike went to the strippers. In the past this is an outing that doesn't bother me, I see it as a fun guys night. But this time it really, really bugged me. I spent the next day ranting and yelling at him in my head. I then asked myself, why am I bothered now? What is so different about this time?
And here it comes. Me - I am what is different now. I have written about my loss of self-esteem and my dislike of my post baby body. But it really sunk in for me how low it had gotten. I was so angry at Mike because I was afraid of what he was thinking while at the strippers and how it reflected on me. I was afraid that I wasn't good enough for him.
This thought stream really shook me up because I was never like that. I was confident in myself.
I realized that things need to change big time. I don't like to myself this way.
For the past couple of weeks I have been doing Weight Watchers but the last two weeks, I haven't really done it and I have barely counted. I am going to re-committ and count everything.
I have been inspired by my bestie Laurie and sister-in-law Billie who have both started to run. I have decided to do the 'Couch to 5k' running plan.
Wish me luck. I know I have written similar posts in the past. Keep me in your thoughts and help me find the 30 minutes to exercise 3 times a week. This is going to be hard but I think since the weather is nicer, it will be a bit easier. My plan is to walk Ally to school and then go on my run afterwards.