45 minutes

Mike is now working from home.  With him working from home I thought I would take the opportunity to go swimming at 6am.  I set my alarm and actually was able to get up.  I swam for about 45 minutes.  I really enjoyed it.  I had forgotten how much I love swimming and how hard it is.  After about 5 minutes I thought to myself, "Okay, this was good....how about the hot tub."  But I kept swimming.  45 minutes seemed to take forever, I am sure it will go faster the more I do it.  Now all I want is a water proof MP3 player.

I also did my 45 min walk too.  My goal is to do it at nap time with or without Zoe and then go have a nap too.  I also want to not skip any walks this week.  I am so close to the end of this goal.  The marathon is in 11 days!!  Crazy!

I am getting really excited and I am getting into this exercise stuff too.  Swimming in the mornings and my learn to run class starts on Friday!  I am going to be so fit!

Reframing

Danielle and I have both struggled with our weight for awhile now.  It is really nice doing the marathon with her because it allows me to share how I feel with someone who is going through the same thing and it is great to have someone to help motivate you.

We were discussing negative self talk and how it effects us.  I never really believed in that psycho-mumble jumble before but as I am trying to change my lifestyle for my girls I am wondering if it really does matter.  Danielle mentioned a conversation with her husband where she couldn't see how gorgeous she is and he was dumbfounded.  She is a amazing but I can agree it is so hard to see yourself as beautiful.  I really want my girls to love themselves and see that they are beautiful no matter what.  I want to be a good example for them so I am going to try and reframe my self talk.  No more, "I am fat" etc I am going to focus on how fit I am.  I feel that will work because it isn't lying to myself and it is something I have control over.  In time I would like to have the confidence again to look in the mirror and say,"Day-umn!"  I think focusing on being fit and instead of the weight lose or possible gain will be better for my self worth in the long run.

I worry so much about body image and how girls are so effected by it.  I sometimes want to pack up my family and move to some remote mountain cabin just to shelter them from the evils of society.  It saddens me when my sister talks about how the kids called her fat and made fun of her.  It really hurt her and I don't want that for my girls.  AT. ALL.

8 miles

My sister came over nice and early and we set out to do our walk.   I was on a strict timeline because Mike had to work this afternoon.  We had to be done around 2 hours.  So we set out we make decent time to the 2 mile mark and I wanted to be half way by 1 hour.  It was getting close so we decided to jog a bit.  We jogged the last bit of every block.  The jogging went well, I just need to make sure I wear a good bra.  The fun part is that Danielle and I got honked at a couple times and one guy yelled out his window professing his love to us and that he wanted to make out right now.  It was kind of annoying but really flattering at the same time.

I am petrified of jogging but it has some great calorie burning benefits and I do want my next marathon time to be faster.  Mike and I have signed up for a Learn to Run class that starts next Friday.  I have been slowly trying to jog a bit just to prepare myself for the class and running in front of people. 

 I am excited for the class because I am excited for Mike and I to get out without kids and do some exercise.  If both of us are getting it fit the closer we are to becoming a fit family.

Up and Down

Friday I wasn't feeling great so I skipped my walk....AGAIN!  I am so bad.  But on Saturday I made it up by moving my sister who lives in the basement.  Mike has moved like a million times and before the move he was so worried about who would help him lift because my parents have some issues  and for some reason he thought I was weak too.  So I showed him!  I was a moving super star.  Later we were talking about why he thought I was such a weakling, he said that he was just used to me being pregnant.  That is a good excuse since I have been pregnant for almost half of the time we have lived in this house.

I decided since I had been going up and down the stairs for about an hour and a half that it counts as my walks.

Later today, Danielle is coming over and we are going to do our walk.  I really want to get it down in 2 hrs because that is the speed that would be good for the marathon.

Down 1.5 lbs!

I skipped my walk yesterday....I know bad!  But I wanted to do it with Mike and then it got too late.  Excuses....excuses...  I will be making it up today though.

Today is my weigh in and I am down 1.5 lbs for a total of 4.5!!  I am really happy because I didn't eat very well yesterday.  I was losing motivation because I hadn't lost weight last week.  I am so fickle, I was actually contemplating just quitting because I really wanted to have some chocolate last night.  What made this week successful is that I was able to count all my points and used them all.  I only went over yesterday.  I sometimes find when we go out for dinner that I lose track and just guess and most of the time probably not guess enough.

45 mins and a crap day

Today has been one of THE worst days ever.  It all started when I woke up and looked around the house as I stumbled and tripped my way  to make some coffee.  The house was a sty and Mike hadn't done anything the night before.  I was just so ticked.  I was also really jealous that he gets to play his game while I had to fight with Zoe so I could eat last night.

Then Mike had to complain about the laundry and how it hasn't been done yet and he doesn't have any shirts to wear.  The poor guy because I laid into him and then he went to work and I sent him a nasty email.  He really didn't deserve any of it.  I was trying to be in control of my emotions but I just can't handle fighting and with being sleep deprived, I just fell into a black pit of despair and I brought up every imaginable thing he had ever done wrong.  Then the more I thought the more depressed I got.  He was trying to be nice but I did hurt him and that realization made me even more upset.  So I cancelled our plans to go and see a little Thomas the Tank play and decided to clean the house.

I got the house done, well about 75% and my mood has slowly gotten better.  I still feel really badly about being so awful.  I decided that I should go to bed early like 8 or 9pm.

The high point of my day so far is that I got my walk done.  I am proud because I really wanted to curl into bed and wallow in my misery.  I have brownies tonight so I knew I would be out and it is hard to do the walk after the meeting.  Plus I should talk to Mike and spend some time with him after this morning.  So I put Ally down and strapped Zoe on.  And afterwards, I even had some time for tea and chocolate to help my mood.

They fit!!!

I can't believe it.  I am really happy.  It is so nice to fit into something that you didn't think you could.  I think I am going to where these pants until they fall off!