Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thinking

I have been doing alot of thinking lately; about how I failed this challenge, the amount of children we/I want, weightloss and of course the move. I tend to over think and really process everything. Zoe is not even 9 months old and I am planning my next kid. I got this way around when Ally was the same age too. Two kids....well that is different I don't want the third kids so close in age. I am not sure if I can handle it or rather if I want to handle it. I also know I don't want to get pregnant at this weight. I want and need to lose the weight. I need to for my girls so I have energy and the desire to play with them and not get so easily frustrated with them.

Mike and I have been going back and forth about how many kids we want. I want 4 and Mike is thinking 3 would be good. I believe we are great parents and should have more. My identity is wrapped up in being a mom, I love it, I research it and at this point I can't imagine life without a baby around. Mike, thankfully is focused on our future and how much kids cost. I don't know but it is a conversation we keep having over and over. And I have been obsessing about when to have the next kid. I think I am a little weird and maybe I need a hobby beside baby-making.

So since this challenge for me was a bit of a flop with this crazy move. I have really been thinking about what to do next and how to achieve weight loss. I realized that September 1st is just around the corner and if all goes to plan I want to start trying September 2010. I also have just finished Julie/Julia and it has inspired me to start a year long project. So I have decided to lose 52 lbs in 52 weeks. I thought it was kind of catchy 52 in 52! I also want to get myself back, evolve as a mother and start new hobbies.

In the next 52 weeks I want to:
-lose a minimum of 52 lbs (of course more would be great)
-run at least 2 races
-knit something for myself and the girls

I think that is it for now but bottom line I want to lose weight and learn to focus on me and my family. It sounds selfish but I do truly believe that the happiness of the family rests on the mother. I am going to start going to actual Weight Watchers meetings. I had lost close to 50 lbs about 4 years ago with Weight Watcher meetings so I think I can do it again. I want to run my first 5k - November 14 it is fittingly called Miles For Moms. And once we get settled in the new house, I am going to get my knitting out and knit some cute winter hats for Ally and Zoe.

So here we go......52 in 52!
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1 comment:

  1. I am so proud of you :) You inspire me to be a better mom :) and I want to thank you for the challenges... I haven't been doing great with them but they do make me step back and think before I eat something...is this healthy? What else can I have instead of chips..lol... I know you can do this new challenge and I am here to support you. My new hobby/goals, I think will be to start making crafts with Ethan and the other kids when I watch them.. try to get outside more and just enjoy spending time with them. I do need my "me time" and I think that I can get it in while my kid naps... on certain days when I need more than that I will wait until Mike gets home and ask him to give me a few minutes alone to read or just lay down for a rest. I still want to lose at least 30lbs... but at this point I will settle for just getting back into the routine of going to the gym 4 times a week...and eating right. Thanks again Melynda! You rock!

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