Thoughts

I have been doing a lot of thinking about diets and my self-esteem lately. My self-esteem really tanked during Zoe's pregnancy and it is still effecting me. I hate being so self-conscious and hating my body. I should love my body because it is amazing, just look at the two beautiful girls that it has grown. I realized that I have spent about 3-4 years focusing on my body's weight and how ugly it is. I really believe that all the negative talk is effecting me. I realized that of course I want to be fit and healthy but if breastfeeding is preventing me from losing weight then I need to still eat well and love myself (my doctor actually confirmed this). I think loving yourself is so very important especially when you are a mother of girls.

And I also found that with Weight Watchers it didn't always encourage me to eat well. I had this need to binge or have a treat more regularly. If I had 5 points left at the end of the day, I wouldn't have something high in protein and healthy I would have chocolate or wine basically empty calories.

I don't want to 'diet' anymore. I want to start loving myself again. I have been a faithful reader of my friend Pam's blog and she is so inspirational. She has lost about 100 lbs. And she has done it by changing her lifestyle and exercise. I look forward to her updates every day. My plan is to start exercising again and let the endorphins do their job and start cooking creatively. When I am done nursing maybe I will diet again.