This morning reality hit and it hit hard. Mike left the house before anyone was up and I was really tired and decided to sleep in a bit longer. Then the next thing I know it is 8:30am and Ally is waking me up. So then I scrambled to tidy (before the cleaner...grr...) make breakfast, referee and nurse Georgia. I was not my best and I have been having a hard time with yelling too much and this morning was not helping.
Then I remembered my new mantra - lower expectations. So we had a tv day. I wanted to do some halloween crafts but Georgia decided to cluster feed all morning and I couldn't. I have come to realize that when I get all frazzled and stressed that it doesn't help anyone and makes everyone's day worse and it seems to just spiral out of control. So I just let things happen and put the tv on and relax. I have to let the guilt go about not being super mom right now and that really it is such a short time in the grand scheme of things.
I did manage to exercise and eat well! One positive about eating 6 times a day is that Ally and Zoe are enjoying more snacks and healthier ones. Ally ate a whole apple today! It is neat to see how they are following our example...now I just need to get them to eat dinner.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Back to Life
I am gearing up for NaPoBloMo...or at least my own private version. I think it will help motivate me to keep on the healthy track and it is something to do while I am nursing.
Today is the start of us getting back to normalcy. I am ready to handle 3 kids...most of the time and I think Ally and Zoe really need it. It has been a crazy couple of weeks and it shows in how the girls have been acting. They have been out of sorts the past couple of days. The fighting, crying and screaming has increased ten fold. I think it is most likely a phase and just needing some routine again. It could be the introduction of a new sibling too. I am sure *fingers crossed* that things will settle down soon. I may need to learn how to effectively discipline from a chair while nursing. Ally has also started her bedtime battles again. I am terrified for the next two nights because Mike is out. I have next to no patience as it is and Ally knows how to push all the buttons. The other night she actually hit me and I did not react very well to that. So wish me luck...but at least I can drink.
I am not telling many people about starting to eat healthy and exercise again. Most people think it is too early after having a baby. I agree and I am watching my body. I know it has only been three weeks since Georgia was born but it was such an easy labour that I actually had to remind myself to take it easy. And three weeks has gone by fast but it feels like Georgia has been here forever already. I am not starving myself, I am actually eating more often but just watching the quality and portion of the food. I am exercising on the treadmill, pushing myself but not too much. So far the exercise has actually really helped my mood and energy!
Another new development in my life is I have decided to become a Tupperware Lady. I feel weird writing that. In the past I have despised home parties, mainly because I feel a push to buy and I haven't had money for those extras. I do enjoy the parties when I go. I decided to sell tupperware because I really like the products and I wanted a way to help out with the family finances. I think it could be fairly lucrative for me because I have a place to advertise for free in our Coffee News editions. I am scared of having to do parties but I know I will get the hang out it.
Today is the start of us getting back to normalcy. I am ready to handle 3 kids...most of the time and I think Ally and Zoe really need it. It has been a crazy couple of weeks and it shows in how the girls have been acting. They have been out of sorts the past couple of days. The fighting, crying and screaming has increased ten fold. I think it is most likely a phase and just needing some routine again. It could be the introduction of a new sibling too. I am sure *fingers crossed* that things will settle down soon. I may need to learn how to effectively discipline from a chair while nursing. Ally has also started her bedtime battles again. I am terrified for the next two nights because Mike is out. I have next to no patience as it is and Ally knows how to push all the buttons. The other night she actually hit me and I did not react very well to that. So wish me luck...but at least I can drink.
I am not telling many people about starting to eat healthy and exercise again. Most people think it is too early after having a baby. I agree and I am watching my body. I know it has only been three weeks since Georgia was born but it was such an easy labour that I actually had to remind myself to take it easy. And three weeks has gone by fast but it feels like Georgia has been here forever already. I am not starving myself, I am actually eating more often but just watching the quality and portion of the food. I am exercising on the treadmill, pushing myself but not too much. So far the exercise has actually really helped my mood and energy!
Another new development in my life is I have decided to become a Tupperware Lady. I feel weird writing that. In the past I have despised home parties, mainly because I feel a push to buy and I haven't had money for those extras. I do enjoy the parties when I go. I decided to sell tupperware because I really like the products and I wanted a way to help out with the family finances. I think it could be fairly lucrative for me because I have a place to advertise for free in our Coffee News editions. I am scared of having to do parties but I know I will get the hang out it.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
A Plan
I have come up with a 'diet' plan. My focus this time around is to work on lifestyle and long term changes rather than a diet that has an end. I want to have an active and healthy lifestyle. I had gone hard on my marathon but once it was over I stopped exercising. I want to make exercise a part of my life and not something that just fades away when I get busy. The exercise piece will be the hardest because I find it really hard to fit it in with everything that needs to be done and I am tired at the end of the day. Mike is going to do his best to help me out.
My food plan is to eat less carbs and eat small meals more often. My go-to food is breads and I love to bake but I realized that I have gone a day or more without eating more than one serving of vegetables or protein. I think I need a bit more structure all that bread is not healthy.
Now the crazy thing that I am going to do and I think it may be the hardest is, I am not going to weigh myself. The reason that this is hard is because I have gotten into the habit of weighing myself every day. I decided this because I want my measure of success to be eating well and exercising and not the weight lost. I find that when I focus on the weight that when it goes up that I get upset and let the gain sabotage my eating for the day or even longer. I also find that focusing on weight is stressful and I don't need that right now, I just had a baby!
I want to enter into this diet thing as relaxed as possible and to trust that if I am eating well and exercising that changes will come when they are ready. I also want to focus more on my self esteem. I hate to say it but even though my body has done some amazing things, I have a really hard time celebrating it and not focusing on the flaws. I know that my self-esteem and attitudes are important for shaping how the girls see themselves. I want to set a good example for them.
My food plan is to eat less carbs and eat small meals more often. My go-to food is breads and I love to bake but I realized that I have gone a day or more without eating more than one serving of vegetables or protein. I think I need a bit more structure all that bread is not healthy.
Now the crazy thing that I am going to do and I think it may be the hardest is, I am not going to weigh myself. The reason that this is hard is because I have gotten into the habit of weighing myself every day. I decided this because I want my measure of success to be eating well and exercising and not the weight lost. I find that when I focus on the weight that when it goes up that I get upset and let the gain sabotage my eating for the day or even longer. I also find that focusing on weight is stressful and I don't need that right now, I just had a baby!
I want to enter into this diet thing as relaxed as possible and to trust that if I am eating well and exercising that changes will come when they are ready. I also want to focus more on my self esteem. I hate to say it but even though my body has done some amazing things, I have a really hard time celebrating it and not focusing on the flaws. I know that my self-esteem and attitudes are important for shaping how the girls see themselves. I want to set a good example for them.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Stress
This past week has been really stressful for me. The Sunday before Thanksgiving we had an impromptu visit from a Public Health Nurse and she checked Georgia's weight at 6 days old. Georgia was not where the charts say she should be. I went through poor weight gain with Ally and spent 6-9 months seeing every breastfeeding specialist to figure out why I had a low supply. It was extremely stressful and I have become a bit neurotic about weight gain. Things with Zoe went well but I was also on domperidone from day 1. This time I didn't want to be on medication if I could help it. I thought things were okay until the nurse came. The visit shattered any confidence I had. I cried a lot and the called my midwives. They weren't worried because they do weight checks at two weeks and more importantly Georgia looked healthy, was energetic and had more than sufficient wet diapers.
Even though the midwives weren't worried and Mike was reminding me of all the reasons I shouldn't freak out. I did. I got my scale out and weighed Georgia on Tuesday, she was up and then weighed her again on Thursday she wasn't up 'enough' so I freaked out again and cried some more. I was able to make it in and see my midwives and they reassured me some more. And we decided to not weigh Georgia over the weekend and just stop stressing and see where her weight was on Tuesday at her two week appointment.
Yesterday was her two week appointment and she is up to 7lbs 5 oz not quite at birth weight but not enough to worry. She is really healthy and we do have 2 other girls that have been slow gainers. So I am happy and very proud to say that I am nursing and growing a child for the first time without medication. This is huge and it still scares me a bit. I just now need to be confident.
This has been a nice week because my mother-in-law has been here helping. It is such a treat and today she took the girls back to her house for two days. I am going to miss them but I know they will have a blast.
On to weight loss...meh...not as great as I thought it would be but whatever. I am down 15lbs to 215lbs. Mike and I have started to talk about what we want to do. This is a bit earlier than I wanted but I really like that Mike is on board. I am really excited because we make a really good team and I feel like if we are in it together than it will be easier to make lifestyle changes.
Even though the midwives weren't worried and Mike was reminding me of all the reasons I shouldn't freak out. I did. I got my scale out and weighed Georgia on Tuesday, she was up and then weighed her again on Thursday she wasn't up 'enough' so I freaked out again and cried some more. I was able to make it in and see my midwives and they reassured me some more. And we decided to not weigh Georgia over the weekend and just stop stressing and see where her weight was on Tuesday at her two week appointment.
Yesterday was her two week appointment and she is up to 7lbs 5 oz not quite at birth weight but not enough to worry. She is really healthy and we do have 2 other girls that have been slow gainers. So I am happy and very proud to say that I am nursing and growing a child for the first time without medication. This is huge and it still scares me a bit. I just now need to be confident.
This has been a nice week because my mother-in-law has been here helping. It is such a treat and today she took the girls back to her house for two days. I am going to miss them but I know they will have a blast.
On to weight loss...meh...not as great as I thought it would be but whatever. I am down 15lbs to 215lbs. Mike and I have started to talk about what we want to do. This is a bit earlier than I wanted but I really like that Mike is on board. I am really excited because we make a really good team and I feel like if we are in it together than it will be easier to make lifestyle changes.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Georgia Ruth is here!
My darling baby is finally here! The end is so hard because it is so near but so far away at the same time. I was so tired and emotional at the end. Mike was so wonderful, he made the last couple of days so much easier.
My due date came and went. I was annoyed and I realized on Sunday (a day after my due date) that if I didn't have the baby soon, I wouldn't have as much help. So I decided to see if doing any induction stuff would help. I brought out my breast pump and sat on my exercise ball and planned on going for spicy food. The pump did the trick and started contractions. I sent Mike and the girls to go for lunch. I enjoyed the time to myself and I set up a nice little labour spot. I read my book, timed contractions and bounced on my ball. Just after the pumping I would have contractions 3 min apart last 30-40s and then they would space out. I used my pump for about 2 hrs every 15 min for 5 min. Then I decided to call and let my labour team know that today could be the day. As I was talking away and not concentrating my contractions spaced out to 7 min and then 10 min.
Then Mike and the girls got home, so I stopped timing but was still able to have 3 or so good contractions with the girls basically on top of me. Zoe was very clingy. Mike thought we should head into the city and get comfortable in our hotel room. I was weary of this because I didn’t want to waste money because I wasn’t entirely convinced it was the real thing. Mike convinced me to forget about the money and to think of it as a vacation away from home. So my Dad took Zoe and then my Mom and Ally drove up in their own vehicle.
I had 3 good contractions on the way in and then we got situated in the hotel ordered dinner. After dinner I took the pump out but it didn’t have the same effect on the contractions. Around 9pm Mike and I went and laid down, we decided that it was going to be an all nighter so rest was important and to stop timing contractions because it was distracting and making me anxious. I lay down and tried to sleep and just as I was about to fall asleep I would have a very intense contraction. Mike thought that the relaxing was key to having labour progress.
At 11pm, I was having a bit of rectal pressure and I was worried that the baby was in a bad position so I phoned my midwife to see if I should do anything different. My contractions were 8 min apart and lasting over a 1 min at this point. Shortly after talking to my midwife I felt like I had to throw up. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew that this could mean transition but I didn’t believe it because my contractions were so far apart. I tried to have a few contractions sitting up in bed but it was really painful and I was feeling pushy. So I decided to sit on the toilet and I wanted to push and was pushing a bit. So we called my midwife and she said if you want to birth at the birth center you better go now. I didn’t quite understand the hurry at that point because I didn’t believe I was anywhere close to real labour. I just thought she was in a bad position, like Ally was.
We got to the birth center which was half a block away. And my back up midwife was there which kind of confused me and she was running. As we walked in she asked if she should start the tub. As you can tell I was a bit out of it and didn’t get the hurry. We got to the birth center I think at about 1 am. I got into the tub and Georgia Ruth was born at 1:24 am. I didn’t get checked at all. I was waiting for my midwives’s to check me and basically give me ‘permission’ to push. I need to ask how they knew I was fully dilated with no cervical lip. My SIL made it just in time and thankfully brought her camera because we forgot ours. And my best friend missed it by like 10 min. Ally did amazing and was fascinated by her sister. It was cute Mike took Georgia as I delivered the placenta and Ally sang to her and touched her. The placenta took a very long time to come close to an hour. I wasn’t bleeding so there was no worry. I also did not tear, my mw kept going on about how you couldn’t tell i had just had a baby. And Georgia had her hand up by her face too!
We are doing well, even with the lack of sleep and a few tears on my part.
My due date came and went. I was annoyed and I realized on Sunday (a day after my due date) that if I didn't have the baby soon, I wouldn't have as much help. So I decided to see if doing any induction stuff would help. I brought out my breast pump and sat on my exercise ball and planned on going for spicy food. The pump did the trick and started contractions. I sent Mike and the girls to go for lunch. I enjoyed the time to myself and I set up a nice little labour spot. I read my book, timed contractions and bounced on my ball. Just after the pumping I would have contractions 3 min apart last 30-40s and then they would space out. I used my pump for about 2 hrs every 15 min for 5 min. Then I decided to call and let my labour team know that today could be the day. As I was talking away and not concentrating my contractions spaced out to 7 min and then 10 min.
Then Mike and the girls got home, so I stopped timing but was still able to have 3 or so good contractions with the girls basically on top of me. Zoe was very clingy. Mike thought we should head into the city and get comfortable in our hotel room. I was weary of this because I didn’t want to waste money because I wasn’t entirely convinced it was the real thing. Mike convinced me to forget about the money and to think of it as a vacation away from home. So my Dad took Zoe and then my Mom and Ally drove up in their own vehicle.
I had 3 good contractions on the way in and then we got situated in the hotel ordered dinner. After dinner I took the pump out but it didn’t have the same effect on the contractions. Around 9pm Mike and I went and laid down, we decided that it was going to be an all nighter so rest was important and to stop timing contractions because it was distracting and making me anxious. I lay down and tried to sleep and just as I was about to fall asleep I would have a very intense contraction. Mike thought that the relaxing was key to having labour progress.
At 11pm, I was having a bit of rectal pressure and I was worried that the baby was in a bad position so I phoned my midwife to see if I should do anything different. My contractions were 8 min apart and lasting over a 1 min at this point. Shortly after talking to my midwife I felt like I had to throw up. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew that this could mean transition but I didn’t believe it because my contractions were so far apart. I tried to have a few contractions sitting up in bed but it was really painful and I was feeling pushy. So I decided to sit on the toilet and I wanted to push and was pushing a bit. So we called my midwife and she said if you want to birth at the birth center you better go now. I didn’t quite understand the hurry at that point because I didn’t believe I was anywhere close to real labour. I just thought she was in a bad position, like Ally was.
We got to the birth center which was half a block away. And my back up midwife was there which kind of confused me and she was running. As we walked in she asked if she should start the tub. As you can tell I was a bit out of it and didn’t get the hurry. We got to the birth center I think at about 1 am. I got into the tub and Georgia Ruth was born at 1:24 am. I didn’t get checked at all. I was waiting for my midwives’s to check me and basically give me ‘permission’ to push. I need to ask how they knew I was fully dilated with no cervical lip. My SIL made it just in time and thankfully brought her camera because we forgot ours. And my best friend missed it by like 10 min. Ally did amazing and was fascinated by her sister. It was cute Mike took Georgia as I delivered the placenta and Ally sang to her and touched her. The placenta took a very long time to come close to an hour. I wasn’t bleeding so there was no worry. I also did not tear, my mw kept going on about how you couldn’t tell i had just had a baby. And Georgia had her hand up by her face too!
We are doing well, even with the lack of sleep and a few tears on my part.
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