I am trying really hard to not get anxious about when the baby is coming. I know it is best for the babe to arrive on its own time but I want it to come now! Tuesday night I had regular braxton hicks contractions which is similar to how I went into labour with Ally. Tuesday and Wednesday would have been the absolute worse times for the baby to come. Because my whole plan for birth would have had to change. So since then I have been thinking a lot about the baby coming and I want it now.
I think what I hate the most about the last couple of weeks is life is in a holding pattern. I feel unable to make plans and discussing the future holds no interest for me. I am enjoying this time with Ally and Zoe but the weather has been terrible and we are house bound, which is making me even more cranky. Mike is working really hard and rationally I appreciate that but I just want a break and to be pampered. I am also quite emotional.
I am doing my best to know that it is still early. I will be 38 weeks on Saturday so there is lots of time and the longer I wait the better...I need to refocus and keep thinking Thanksgiving. Even though I really want a September baby and not because I want the baby to be early (I do) but it satisfies my need and love for patterns. Ally was born in March, Zoe in December and I wanted this babe to be born in September and if I have a 4th it will have to be born in June. I know, I know, lame right?
And the other thing is that I realized that I have been pregnant now for a year. I probably conceived this time last year for the baby that I miscarried. I guess I am just ready to have a little one in my arms.