Wednesday, September 2, 2009

1 for diet 0 for Mothering

I ate well today! I actually ate 5 servings of fruit and vegetables! I am happy and I feel great. The quote in my Weight Watchers book today was, "Nothing feels better than healthy does." That is so true. I am so thrilled with how I am doing and I think it really helps that Mike is on a diet too. I do better with a partner. It also helps on the grocery bill. We went shopping tonight for fruit and veg and the fridge is so full; both crispers are full and the bottom shelf.

Unfortunately we had a terrible night. Ally was up and Zoe is sick. I was up with one kid or the other from 10:30 -2am. I was tired and cranky. Mike slept through it, I thought on purpose so I was really pissed at him and I almost kicked him out of bed. Thankfully I am more rational in the mornings. The late night screwed up my chance of exercising today. I was really bitter about missing my exercise. Maybe I need to lower my expectations about exercise. Maybe just going out for walks with the kids is good enough. I don't know.

After a bad night, I am in such a funk. I yell, scream and cry at least once during the day. I feel like the worst mother ever and that I can't cope and I feel close to a breakdown. Ally has really been pushing my buttons and I don't know how to stay calm and be a good mom to her. I have read the books and I know she is not testing me deliberately. Knowing that doesn't help my temper. I wonder if it is the lack of sleep...gosh I hope it is. All I know is that normally I am so level headed and I love my kids but some days...

1 comment:

  1. I am right there with you my dear! You are normal! lol.. I too have been struggling to keep my cool. Like we talked about... we need to start setting more time aside for us! No kids no hubbies! Just need some "me" time! I hope that you and I can maybe start doing something at least once a month.. maybe go to a movie or go for sushi hehehe...