Ready to get back at it

I think...I hope...well knock on wood that I am feeling better.  We just got back from a whirlwind weekend at a conference at West Edmonton Mall.  I was worried how we (especially me) would do with the lack of sleep and I am so glad to say that it went really well!  I also only gained a pound, which is awesome when you are eating every meal out and not even good food because with two kids fast food is just easier on everyone.

My plan is to get back on the wii and do a 30-60min walk every day.  I hate saying that I work out on the wii but it is a decent work out and I get some strength training in.  I am going to try and get outside and walk but a walk on the treadmill is just as good.  I hope to be able to do it every day or at least 5 days a week.  Even though I am a stay at home mom, weekends are completely different.

Now the hard part is to get back into cooking.  I still have no desire to eat and I have no groceries.  The grocery store in town has a delivery service that I am contemplating using but....it seems kind of lazy and maybe I should just wait until tomorrow. 

Today is Ally's birthday!!  My baby is 3!  Time flies...it really does.

First Midwife Appointment

I had my first appointment today and it was with my favorite midwife Nadine.  I love her!  She is so nice and kind of on the hippy side.  She works part time and so far hasn't been at any of my births but I really hope she will be at my next one.

We talked about where I am going to birth because I am in Didsbury  now I can't have a home birth which really saddens me.  I loved my birth with Zoe it was just perfect.  We talked about the birth center or birthing in a hotel.  Sounds fun, eh?  I love the hotel idea just because then I get the benefit of giving birth and walking to my bed and staying there.  That is my favorite part of a homebirth.  But I also really enjoyed  making noise last time (weird, I know) so I think that would be weird in a hotel.   And I also like a bit of a party at my births.  I want Ally to be there for sure, my mom, sister, sister -in-law, a friend or two and of course Mike.  So I think the birth center will be it even though the downside is that I have to leave 3 hrs after the birth.  Ugh!

So the appointment was pretty standard.  I have a bunch of lab tests to do and will need to book my 20 week ultrasound.  The disappointing thing is that Nadine couldn't find the heart beat.  I have been very nervous about the heartbeat since Saturday when my nausea decreased a ton.  But it is very early I am only 10 weeks 4 days.  I want to rent a doppler but I know that will just feed my insanity and stress more.  I know that if I keep trying and can't find it then I will be a basket case.  I am reminding myself that it is early and that there is really nothing I can do either way.

Priorities

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my priorities as a mom lately maybe it is because I have barely done any house work and laid on the couch for most of the day.  I hate cleaning and I really would like it to go away and my house be perfect.  I have a friend who's house is perfect all the time.  I don't get it and the thought of doing the same makes me want to curl up in my bed for 2 days straight.  Seriously her house is like a magazine and she has two kids.  I really don't understand how she does it and why?  I was there yesterday and all the beds were made, no toy out of place, no dish left out or stray sock laying around.  We walked into her toy room and everything was in its place and all the toys and furniture all coordinate. 

At times it makes me envious.  I would like my house to look like that but I know that it would drive me crazy, seriously I don't think I could handle the pressure.  I also don't think it is fair on my kids because the pressure would cause me to not let them play or touch anything and I would probably yell all the time.  I am beginning to come to terms with my messiness and try to revel in it.

I am now feeling better so hopefully I will start to do more around the house but what I really feel guilty about is not the mess but the lack of things I have done with Ally and Zoe.  We have barely done any crafts, baked or gone out.  I want to get back to that.  It is getting better each day.  Thank goodness!

Haha...feeling alive?

I laughed when I saw the tittle of the last post because I haven't felt alive in many weeks...I feel like death warmed over at my worst.  That is why I haven't been able to blog.  I barely have energy to get off the couch.  My poor girls...they are so good to me!  But I am almost 10 weeks so the end is near...I hope...if it isn't then I will go on some drugs for nausea because who wants to live this way?

I miss exercising and eating healthy but I just can't right now.  I am all about mall food and I love Koryo and Thai Express.  Actually I am all about food that is not made by me or in my house.  But despite this I have lost weight about 5 lbs so far.

I will get back to the blogging world as soon as I can.