I am so sick of people commenting on my child spacing. Everyone thinks I am crazy and I hate it. I hate that people can criticize my choice of spacing and my choice of being a stay at home mom, but I can't return the criticism. I hate the mommy wars and I stay out of it because I have learned that it really doesn't matter. I just count my blessings that things are working for us. But just because I have chosen to have 3 and maybe another doesn't mean that you can insult me.
I am a little sensitive because I am actually scared of what having 3 under 3 will be like. I am not sure if this is the spacing I really wanted but it is what I have and I am dealing with it and I will come to love it. I am confident in my ability to adapt and be the best mom that I can be. But I am scared and honestly I am more scared of how my marriage will fair then how I will raise 3 kids.
But I do hate how just because you have decided that one, two or none is the perfect number for you doesn't mean that it is for me. I think that the people who make the comments don't realize how hurtful it is and maybe they are trying to complement me because they think I am amazing. It is probably that I am senstive but still, if I turned the tables and said, " I think you are crazy for just having one because your kid is going to be spoilt." People would be angry with me.
Then there is the whole stay at home mom thing. I am lucky that I can stay home with my kids. I enjoy it but it is harder than most people think and some days I don't enjoy it at all. I am not anymore special then a mom who works. I personally can't imagine working all day, then having to come home; clean, cook, and spend quality time with your kids. The thought exhausts me. I don't like cleaning and will put it off as long as possible.
Well that is my rant for today.
((Hugs)) I totally feel you on the SAHM thing...when I first went back to work, I was totally miserable, then we decided I would stay home, and I was STILL miserable. There are many times I doubt myself because I feel isolated, but I know I am one of the lucky ones who will get to influence my children's lives in a good way. You are a wonderful Mommy & have two happy, healthy and beautiful little girls to prove it!
ReplyDeleteAs far as other's opinions, you know what they say about opinions being like a certain orifice....I totally believe it. It doesn't matter if you have one baby or one every year for 12 years, someone will have something to say about it! I get so ticked when someone has something to say about my three year old having a pacifier - I want to just tell them its none of their D*** business, but usually just walk way. Wonder what else they would have to say if they knew he wasn't potty trained yet! GASP!!!
You wait, someone is going to catch us both on the wrong day one day and we're going to light them up!
Just keep loving your beautiful family and forget em all!
Big hugs Melynda - I deal with this all the time. I just pray a lot and trust in my abilities and my husband's abilities to deal with these situations as they come.
ReplyDeleteI admire I generally find out baby spacing quite easy, and couldn't imagine having older kids and having to go all the way back to the baby stage after graduating out of it, but it isn't for everyone. Fortunately they are MY kids and MY choices, and generally when I express to people that I am happy and love my life (even when I don't love every minute of it) I get shrugs and left alone ;)