Waiting Sucks!

I am trying really hard to not get anxious about when the baby is coming.  I know it is best for the babe to arrive on its own time but I want it to come now!  Tuesday night I had regular braxton hicks contractions which is similar to how I went into labour with Ally.  Tuesday and Wednesday would have been the absolute worse times for the baby to come.  Because my whole plan for birth would have had to change.  So since then I have been thinking a lot about the baby coming and I want it now. 

I think what I hate the most about the last couple of weeks is life is in a holding pattern.  I feel unable to make plans and discussing the future holds no interest for me.  I am enjoying this time with Ally and Zoe but the weather has been terrible and we are house bound, which is making me even more cranky.  Mike is working really hard and rationally I appreciate that but I just want a break and to be pampered.  I am also quite emotional.

I am doing my best to know that it is still early.  I will be 38 weeks on Saturday so there is lots of time and the longer I wait the better...I need to refocus and keep thinking Thanksgiving.  Even though I really want a September baby and not because I want the baby to be early (I do) but it satisfies my need and love for patterns.  Ally was born in March, Zoe in December and I wanted this babe to be born in September and if I have a 4th it will have to be born in June. I know, I know, lame right?

And the other thing is that I realized that I have been pregnant now for a year.  I probably conceived this time last year for the baby that I miscarried.  I guess I am just ready to have a little one in my arms.

So In Love

I am really in love with my girls right now.  Everything is so perfect.  They are just so cute, smart, funny and mine!  Now that we have conquered the sleep battle with Ally, life is just heaven.  No more fighting for hours and middle of the night wake ups and more fights.  Good sleep for everyone has made a huge difference on my outlook at life.  I am so glad that I can enjoy this last month of pregnancy with them.

Ally starts preschool tomorrow and we have been excitedly waiting for it since February.  Preschool helped with potty training and a little bit with the sleep battle.  I think Ally is going to love it and make many friends.  I am also a little scared because with making friends there is also heartbreak.  I wish I could shelter Ally from it all but I know it will make her stronger.  I just hope that we can talk about it and that I can be there for her. 

Tonight was also another big night for us.  Each day/night Ally gets a chance of decorating 4 links for a paper chain that is outlining her door.  Today it was finished so we went to Wal-Mart and she got to pick out her own toy.  She chose a princess, prince and horse.  She just loves the toy.  It was a lot of fun getting it with her tonight.  She was just over joyed with picking out her own toy.

Another Appointment

Yesterday I started my weekly appointments.  I thought I was so clever in scheduling my midwife and chiropractic appointments on the same day.  I am not so sure but it is too late now.  My plan was to head into the city for my midwife appointment in the morning, go to a friend's house for a playdate/lunch and then head to my chiro.  Well by the time we got home at around 3:30pm, no one had napped and everyone was done.  Zoe is in love with Ally and wants to play with her and sit right beside her but only on her terms.  She is a screecher and will screech at the drop of hat.  So that was our late afternoon, me trying to not scream more than Zoe.  I really can't stand her scream!  I have learned that I need to really watch the girls because my automatic response is to get Ally in trouble but lately it has been Zoe over-reacting.

My midwife appointment went really well.  My weight and blood pressure are good.  Baby is measuring just a week ahead and has a great heartbeat.  I talked to my midwife about when I need to go to the birth center.  They don't want me there until I am in active labour.  I was in active labour with Zoe for 3 hrs but I started counting later pretty much 12 hours before that.  So it will be interesting to see when this baby decides to arrive because it will all depend on when I head to the city and where I labour.  I am trying not to think about it because there is so much out of my control and I don't need any stress. 

I originally thought that I would go into the city as soon as I could to avoid the drive too late in labour but that may not make sense.  I could labour at a friend's house, mall or hotel but then again it depends on when I go into labour.  So I am just trying to be positive about the hour drive into the city and depending on the time will think positively about labouring at home and in the car.

I have started packing my bags.  The baby's is done and mine is mostly done.  I will probably pack the girls and Mike later on or in labour. 

I am a guest blogger!!

I had been asked to write about my weight loss and gains over the last couple years with my pregnancies.  So check this blog out.  It is a really great blog with 4 contributors writing about their weight loss journeys.  The women are quite inspirational and I highly recommend adding www.getfitchicks.com to your reader!

Getting Anxious!

Since we moved about an hour out of the city last year, I have to have this baby at the birth center in Calgary and that also means that we need to stay in the city for a couple days.  Almost across the road from the birth center is a strip of about 8 hotels.  On Saturday Mike and I toured all the hotels that had suites and a pool.  We wanted a suite with a kitchenette and seperate room.  We hope to have (if I am up to it) a place to have guests and for the girls to play but also a place for me to go and rest.  We were able to book a great room with a full kitchenette too!  The cancellation policy is also pretty good, if we call before 4pm then we aren't charged.  It will be interesting what happens if I go early, hopefully we can get the same room.

Talking about going early, I have now had two friends have dreams that I am going to go early.  Which is very weird.  I unfortunately have no ideas and can't remember my dreams.  I am keeping with the same mind-frame that I am going to go late.  The sad thing about that is that if I go late there is a good chance that my mom won't be there!  So we shall see what happens.  Basically I would like the baby to come anytime after 39 weeks and if it is going to be earlier than to happen after Wednesday.  Ally starts preschool classes on the 13th and that will be 37 wks and 2 days, so after that would be nice.  I have a feeling that this baby won't be super accomodating...but why should s/he?  This baby has really worked on getting my attention from kicking and moving a ton more than the girls, being transverse and if you think back to the stress at the beginning about if there was a baby or not.  I think this baby will fit in quite nicely and is ready to keep with its sisters!

With booking the hotel and talking with my mom this past weekend, I have started to get a bit anxious and the reality of having another baby is starting to hit me.  So I am going to start my lists and begin to pack.  I can't help it! 

I like to have a bit of a party at my births so I have a large group attending, so I typically send out my birth plan and give each person a job.  My plan is also very flexible because 3 of the attendants have jobs and famillies of their own to take care of.  I think writing everything up will help ease the panic that was setting in yesterday.  I am going to hold off on packing the bags just yet but I might just make a list of what everyone needs to have.  Just in case I go early and Mike and I have to run around throwing things into bags.

I bought a maternity support belt this weekend too.  I am not a huge fan but I have had less hip pain since I got it.  I have only worn it for a few hours each day.  After a while it needs to be re-adjusted and that annoys me.  I wore it this morning while I was cleaning and cooking and I do feel good.

Do you like being a SAHM?

I was asked today if I liked being a stay at home mom.  I immediately said, "Most days..."  but I continued to think about my choices and situation all afternoon.  I have decided that a more accurate answer would be," I love being a stay at home mom but I hate being a house wife."  I don't like cleaning and I only want to cook for fun.  Wouldn't it be awesome if that could become my reality?  Mike is trying to figure out how to get me a cleaner, which is wonderful but I do know we are tight and it probably won't happen and that is okay.

I know it will be easier in some ways when the baby has come.  I find the last trimester to be soooo exhausting and I am lucky, I don't have much pain, discomfort or other major pregnancy woes.  I remember when I was pregnant with Zoe asking my friend who had given birth to twins how in the world was she managing three kids when I could barely function with one.  She told me that the energy level does come up after birth and in my experience so far she is right.  I am really looking forward to it!  I do hope I am blessed with an easy baby again so that I can spend time with the girls.

Ally will be going to preschool two mornings a week and both girls will be going into a gymnastics class.  I think this will really be helpful to keep them active and relieve some of the guilt that I may have when I don't want to leave the house.  With Ally's sleep being so unpredictable and a major challenge, I have been working hard at doing something active at least once a day if not more.  I have fallen in love with swimming because the girls love it, it tires them out and it is easy for me with the lack of gravity.  I hope we can get back to swimming as soon as possible after the baby comes.

I had my 34 week appointment yesterday and everything is going really well.  Baby was heads down and I hope s/he stays that way!  My blood pressure was low 102/58 but my midwife wasn't concerned so I am not either. And my weight is only up 2lbs since last appt, I am at 218 lbs!!  I am really enjoying not having any worries right now.  The pregnancy started with so much anxiety it is nice to just enjoy growing a child.

31 Week Appointment

I had my 31 week appointment yesterday.  Everything is going really well.  The baby was transverse and posterior.  My midwives aren't worried and surprisingly I am not either.  I know it is still early and I know that my uterus is nice and roomy after housing 2 prior full-term babes.  I am also less concerned because I found out that there are two doctors in Calgary that will deliver breech babies, so I have many, many options between now and then.  I am just relieved that it doesn't mean an automatic c-section.

My weight has sky-rocketed in the last 3 weeks since my last appointment.  I haven't been eating as well and I haven't done any formal exercise.  But again I am not worried.  It has been on my mind and I am going to get back at it.  And at this point, I am tired and Ally is still not sleeping well, so it is an accomplishment to make it through the day, sometimes.

I am enjoying not being stressed or worried.  I am sure it will hit soon because the baby will be coming soon but since this is #3 there isn't that much to do.  I need to get a hotel booked or at least picked out and my bags packed but I am not doing that until 37-38 wks.

I am trying to keep the mind set that this baby will be late.  Ally was born at 39 weeks so I expected Zoe earlier than that, so I had my bags packed, Ally's packed, care set up for her and a back up plan set up all before 36 weeks.  I basically drove myself nuts because I had nothing to do and was just waiting.  I liked with Ally that I was pleasantly surprised when she came.  I hope I can achieve that this time around too.